Sister asks woman to babysit because she has a last minute work meeting, she finds out sister was lying about her plans: 'If I can’t trust her to be honest, I’m not obligated to babysit.'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Feb 6, 2025 9:00 AM EST

We all do stuff for our families for free that we wouldn't do for anyone else otherwise. When you're growing up, your parents usually called it chores, and it was more than anything to teach you how to take care of the home you make. In school, it was picking up your little sibling from soccer practice when you'd much rather be hanging out with your friends instead. These are the unwritten rules of family, and it's how we all learn how to help each other so that we can build a community that thrives on human connection.

In adulthood, one of the things you do for your family is help to take care of the new members when they come into the world. Whether that be as grandparents or aunts and uncles, it's an unspoken duty that pro-bono babysitting is all part of the job of loving and living for each other. As much as it is just a part of being a family, it is also a lot to ask of someone. Overuse the privilege, and you're bound to lose it. One woman is facing a very similar issue with her sister, who asks her to babysit her kids while lying about her plans. Read to learn more.


 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10459849984
    via profwicks
  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she lied about her plans?"

    I (26F) have always been pretty close with my younger sister, Rachel (24F). She has two kids- Aiden (4) and Lily (2)—and while I adore them, I don't always have the time or energy to babysit, especially because I work long hours at a stressful job.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 03
    Last week, Rachel called me and asked if I could watch her kids for the evening. She told me she had a last-minute work meeting and couldn't find a sitter. I agreed to help her out, even though I had already planned to relax at home after a busy week. It wasn't ideal, but I didn't want to leave her in a tough spot, especially since we live pretty close and she doesn't have many other options for babysitters.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 04
    I cleared my evening and got everything ready to have the kids over. However, an hour before she was supposed to drop them off, Rachel texted me, saying that her meeting had been canceled. I was a bit confused, but I didn't think much of it. Then, she told me she was going out to dinner with some friends and that she'd still need me to watch the kids.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 05
    That's when I realized something was off. Rachel had lied to me about her plans in order to get me to babysit, and now it was clear she just wanted a night out. I felt completely used. I didn't have any issue with her having a social life, but I was frustrated that she'd lied about the meeting just to avoid telling me the truth.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 06
    I called her and told her I wasn't going to watch the kids anymore. I explained how I felt hurt by the dishonesty and that I didn't want to be taken advantage of. Rachel was immediately defensive, calling me selfish and saying I was overreacting. She argued that she needed a break and that I should understand.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 07
    Now, she's been texting me nonstop, saying I'm not being a supportive sister, and some family members are getting involved, saying I should have just helped her out. But I feel like if I can't trust her to be honest, I'm not obligated to babysit.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 08
    So, AITA for refusing to watch my sister's kids after she lied about her plans?
    via Thundergod21322
  • 09

    The main consensus from commenters was that this woman's sister was a dirty rotten liar.

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    via charlesdeluvio
  • 10
    You're not the a h le. She lied to you and tried to take advantage of your kindness. It's okay to say no, especially when someone isn't being honest. You're allowed to set boundaries, and it's not selfish to stand up for yourself. It's a matter of respect, not just helping out.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 11
    NTA... not sure how she will be able to regain your trust. She was deceptive and manipulative.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 12
    NTA. 1. They aren't your children, they aren't your responsibility. 2. Sounds like you already help out, just out of the kindness of your heart 3. You're allowed to be hurt by her dishonesty, and no longer want to help out. She repays your kindness with lying? That's honestly just of her
    via Thundergod21322
  • 13

    This person is asking the real questions.

    She lies, manipulates, gets her monkeys to put pressure on you. Maybe thats why she's bringing up 2 small kids on her own? Or where is her partner?
    via Thundergod21322
  • 14
    NTA. She lied because she knew she was wrong. Now she is mad facing the consequences of her actions.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 15
    NTA She manipulated you by lying. She probably knew you would tell her No because it was last minute and perhaps you were tired. Then instead of admitting that she was wrong, she attacks you and calls you names? I babysit for family also, but sometimes I'm exhausted and say No. Sister took away you're right to say No, you said yes because you felt obliged to help her in an emergency situation. Slimy behavior
    via Thundergod21322
  • 16
    NTA. Tell the family that they are so kind for offering to watch her kids and that you'll let her know.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 17
    NTA but your sister is. She was free to lie to you about her plans. She was not free of the consequences of doing so. The fact that she got defensive shows she knew it was wrong and then calling you selfish is just manipulation. She chose to have the kids so it's not on you to 'give her a break'. That's what her baby daddy is for.
    via Thundergod21322
  • 18
    "What I don't understand was your need to lie to me. You come at me straight, we're good. You lie to me, e, f and your break." you
    via Thundergod21322
  • 19
    If she wanted a break, she should have just said so when she asked for you to babysit. If she had been honest you might have said yes. You did not cancel because you don't think she should have fun. You cancelled because she lied you. NTA
    via Thundergod21322

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